Translating a Teenager

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I don't know if you have ever sat in a car full of teenagers with the radio off, but if you have, you will totally relate to this post. If not, I would suggest you file this away for later reference...although anything I tell you now will probably change next week, if it hasn't already.

I was driving home with my twin boys Lachlan and Cameron (15) and their mate Michael, and, as nosy parents of sneaky teenage boys do, I listened in on their conversation...and pretended (really badly) that I knew what they were talking about. Michael was asking Cam about his on-again, off-again relationship with his girl, and Cam explained that he was tuning someone else now. Michael said something like 'You shouldn't have any problems with that cos you are swag in that button up.' After discussing the hotness of several chicks in their class, I made a sarcastic (I always muck around with my boys like that) comment like 'no chicks would ever like my boys because they are real pigs'. Michael laughed and said "Haha, your Mum really owned you. My Mum owns me all the time too."

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Now, am I just being old-fashioned or stupidly naive, or would you also have trouble figuring out the gist of the conversation? Teenage language is changing and evolving and it is so hard to keep up with...I am getting used to the text and internet lingo (although I did have to ask what YOLO meant), but these new spoken words were foreign, so I thought just in case you wanted to brush up on your teenage speak, that I would outline a few of them for you...and yes, I was daggy (not cool to say this word anymore lol) enough to ask them all (including my 19yo daughter) for an explanation. You can imagine how much I was paid out for that!

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My Teenager's Top Ten Slang Words or Phrases
(as supplied and defined by them)

1. Owning 

If someone tells you a really dull story and you respond by saying it is fantastic or cool, ie. you reply sarcastically, then you have 'owned' the storyteller. I guess I own my boys more than I thought I did :)

2. Tuning

You probably guessed that this is a little like chatting up, however it is more specific than that. It means targeting a potential love interest, and encompasses 'tuning' them on social media as well as in person. Kind of a stalking sort of prelude to courting...I doubt they would even know what that word means anymore.

3. Swag

This word I found really interesting as it was used to describe my son's clothing, not a blanket roll you swing over your shoulder. I asked the boys whether this meant his clothes were cool (yes, that word is still in fashion, thank goodness) and they said it kind of does but it means more than that. The button up shirt (all the rage now with the boys) Cam was wearing, Michael described as more classy and upmarket than cool. They also said a person can be swag - you know, swagalicious Mum? When I googled the meaning for swag it made alot of sense - attitude, arrogance, sense of own attractiveness to the opposite sex...ah yes, I was swagalicious once!

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4. Getting Mortal

This term is courtesy of my daughter who is full into clubbing at the moment. Getting mortal is the current term for getting drunk. An odd term as at their age I certainly felt more IMmortal when I drank.

5. Banging

Now, when I was younger this was another term for sex...banging the night away was a common pastime back then...sigh. Now it means beautiful and sexy. What a 'banging' chick she is, for example.

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6. Beast

This now means kind of the opposite to what I thought it would. It does not mean ugly or frightening, it means superior. Michael Jordan is (was) the beast, for example.

7. Hard

No, as you may have guessed this no longer just means difficult or rigid. It also means wild or crazy. He is a really hard party dude, for example.

8. Soz

Cameron gets in trouble for saying this to his girlfriend. She would rather he say the full word "Sorry" rather than the abbreviated Soz. Funny how a term that was initially used in texting is now said verbally. I believe hashtag is another one kids say aloud.

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9. Dafaq

A shortened (kind of) version of WTF. I can't spell out what this means on my blog, if you don't know I am sure Google will help you here :)

10. Bounce

"I gotta bounce man," can be translated as "I gotta leave man." Bounce means to get going. Any wonder we don't understand what these kids are saying?

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Now, I can't resist putting a few of these together to make a sentence to demonstrate my point. I would love to see if you come up with something as well:

"The other day I saw that banging, hard chick that I am trying to tune getting mortal with Max at the club. I bounced out of there and she came after me all soz, but dafaq? I am better than that. Time to tune a swagalicious beast who will appreciate me!"

Haha, now that was fun. Do you have any other terms I have not heard of? I would love for you to share.

Fifteen is Freaking Me Out

My twin boys turn 15 on Saturday and it is freaking me out. Not because it makes me feel old that my babies are definitely no longer babies (although that does freak me out too). No, what freaks me out is the whole hormones and girls thing. You see they both have new girlfriends, which is fine, but it is no longer the holding hands, hang out with your mate (who happens to be female) type of girlfriends anymore.

No, they are full on in love and images like these are popping up on my Facebook feed all the time. They are already out there for the world to see, so I don't mind sharing them here...but I must admit it feels really weird seeing photos of your boys kissing girls. It's really wrong of me but I know I didn't feel like this when the same thing happened to my daughter Lauren, also at the age of 15. And why didn't I? It shouldn't make any difference whether it's my son or daughter should it?

Lauren even created an art series based on her love for Jacko, whom she grew up with from the age of 15 to 18. I was actually really happy when she started dating because Jacko grounded her, curbed her wild streak and ended the semi-emo look thing she had been toying with at high school. He was a blessing, and when it came time for their relationship to go to the next step (which took a couple of years thank god), that is...yes...ick...sex, then we talked about it first and ensured she was on the pill.

With boys I think it is way more scary...at least it is for me, because I can't control it. I can't ensure the girlfriend is on the pill, I can't tell her to wait until she is older. I can have the conversation with my boys, which don't worry we already have, and phew they are not anywhere near that stage yet, but one day it's going to happen and I just hope when it does, that some angry Mum or Dad doesn't come knocking on my door with a shotgun.

I miss the cheeky little monkeys they were, and am freaked out that my boys are becoming mini men, especially when I recall being fifteen myself. Was I a great kid, never lying to my parents, always behaving, never stepping out of line? Hell no! My first boyfriend at 15 was a high school dropout who hung around at the pinball parlour all day, was on the dole and rode a motorbike...man my Dad was so unimpressed when I brought him home!

So, I have met both the girlfriends and they seem really nice, and on Saturday when the boys turn fifteen, they will be welcomed into my home...and I have a strong feeling it will be the start of a new era or phase for our household. With Lauren's boyfriend staying most weekends as he visits from Brisbane, and the boys hanging with their girls (daytime only haha) there will never be a dull moment.

Have you had issues with your kids turning fifteen or dating for the first time?