Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Time To Let Go

Two years ago today I was on a beautiful beach in Nai Yang, Phuket for my sister, Krish's wedding. It was such a beautiful, romantic ceremony, complete with bare feet and these amazing parasols we picked up for a couple of dollars at one of the temples. I was so honored that Krish asked Paul and I to attend as we had shared their journey from the very beginning of their romance when they met online, and we supported Krish through her breakup with her ex.

I am so very proud of my little sis and so ecstatic that she found the love she deserved after years of turmoil. Congratulations Krish and Pete!

Ironically one of the reasons Krish asked us to attend was that Paul and I understood what it was like to have such an incredible romance...that the depth of affection we had for one another was akin to hers with Pete, soul mates. Unfortunately, at the time of going overseas we had just been through another major flood earlier that year...and it was taking it's toll on us. We really needed the break, and despite my checking on the kids all the time, we all did have a lovely time...except for one big mistake I made which I planned with Krish before we left Australia.

I arranged with the celebrant to have a renewal of wedding vows for Paul and I, under the flower arbour, after Krish and Pete were married. I wanted to try and capture some sort of romantic spark that had been missing from our marriage. Mental note....never ever spring a surprise renewal of wedding vows on someone. Like that situation would ever present itself again, right? It was incredibly awkward, Paul didn't get the gesture, and later said he didn't think it was a good idea.

The reason I share this story is that I think I realised then that my marriage was hurting, that large romantic gestures shouldn't be necessary to keep things moving. Now, two years later my marriage is over.

You cannot go back from someone telling you they don't love you anymore, that they don't want to grow old with you...and that nothing you do can change that. You have to let them go. If they are so unhappy then there is no point holding on to save your broken heart. You have to realise the fairytale is over, even though you would have tried to save it over and over again because you made solemn vows and promised to do so....and, let's face it...you still love him.

A month ago I couldn't talk about this, hence the reason for my bloggy break. Some would think it's not appropriate to air this in public but I felt like writing what was in my heart today, especially on this anniversary of such a moving and beautiful wedding. A day that will always hold a special place in my heart regardless of who was there.

Pete and Krish, I know you will have an eternity of anniversaries and I so look forward to sharing them with you. Don't be sad for me, I deserve to be with someone that will love me for a lifetime, no matter what...just like you.

Thanks for helping me let go...love you both so much!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...