5 amazing things I have gained from Flood-Proof Mum

Over the past couple of months I have thought a lot about blogging and what it means to me. I had to give it a break for fear of writing too much negativity (and who wants to be known for that?) due to the process I was going through with my marriage breakup. But lately, through contact with the amazing people of the 'blogiverse' I have decided to embrace Flood-Proof Mum and today I am reflecting on the top 5 things that have happened as a result of my blog.

1. Inspiration

I started Flood-Proof Mum in the hope of connecting and sharing stories with other victims of flood. In twelve months I have achieved that and so much more. As well as gaining inspiration from others journeys I have also been overwhelmed by the number of times people have told me that I am an inspiration to them. It is something I never considered and an attribute that I humbly and gratefully acknowledge. It is an amazing thing to think that you inspire others by telling your story but it is a two-way street and that is the beauty of blogging - you can be inspired and inspiring at the same time.

2. Friendship

http://opinionsandexpressions.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/online-friendship/

I never really knew what it was like to have online friends. I have had Facebook for many years but only connected regularly with those I already knew. Blogging is far superior to any form of social media. Through reading others blogs you get to know them (or the self they choose to share with you) and I have met many people whom I consider as kindred spirits with lives parallel to mine. Meeting some of these people in person is an experience I immensely look forward to. But it's not just the bloggers, many of my readers don't blog but share similar interests and I am honoured that we have connected. Thank you all especially for your beautiful and kind words during my sabbatical.

3. Reconnecting

A few months ago I received a text from a very dear friend with whom I had lost touch. Her name is Amanda and she was there with me when Lauren was born 20 years ago, and a beautiful bridesmaid at my first wedding. She found me through Flood-Proof Mum and recognised my photograph. It means the world to me that we will be able to catch up in person after so many years and share stories. I also think it is fate that she has come into my life now. I had to shut down the past couple of months and become a mushroom, it's my way of dealing with things...but I know that she understands, and I cannot wait to share Amanda with my family.

4. Recognition

I never set out to do anything major with Flood-Proof Mum. It is not a blog designed to make money or attract sponsors. It is my personal journey and a source of information on simple living in a flood prone property. It is also a great opportunity for me to hone my writing skills and share stories, so I was absolutely overwhelmed and honoured to have my blog archived on the National Libraries Database. It is now preserved and generations to come will be able to read my flood stories long after I am gone...hence why I did not want to be a misery-guts-woe-is-me blogger over the past month :)

5. Education

When I read my early posts I am always amazed at the array of skills and knowledge I have gained and shared. I have experimented with many simple living and gardening concepts and I so appreciate the fact that I recorded this information to look back on. My personal posts also reflect what I was going through at the time and I have designs to record more memories or memoirs, perhaps in another blog. There is also the wealth of knowledge I have gained from other bloggers, readers comments, and simple living forums. The sharing of information with friends is an experience I treasure.

So, there you have it. My top 5 amazing benefits gained from blogging. I would love to hear about yours if you blog, and if you don't I would love to know what you gain from reading others blogs.

Have an awesome day!

Time To Let Go

Two years ago today I was on a beautiful beach in Nai Yang, Phuket for my sister, Krish's wedding. It was such a beautiful, romantic ceremony, complete with bare feet and these amazing parasols we picked up for a couple of dollars at one of the temples. I was so honored that Krish asked Paul and I to attend as we had shared their journey from the very beginning of their romance when they met online, and we supported Krish through her breakup with her ex.

I am so very proud of my little sis and so ecstatic that she found the love she deserved after years of turmoil. Congratulations Krish and Pete!

Ironically one of the reasons Krish asked us to attend was that Paul and I understood what it was like to have such an incredible romance...that the depth of affection we had for one another was akin to hers with Pete, soul mates. Unfortunately, at the time of going overseas we had just been through another major flood earlier that year...and it was taking it's toll on us. We really needed the break, and despite my checking on the kids all the time, we all did have a lovely time...except for one big mistake I made which I planned with Krish before we left Australia.

I arranged with the celebrant to have a renewal of wedding vows for Paul and I, under the flower arbour, after Krish and Pete were married. I wanted to try and capture some sort of romantic spark that had been missing from our marriage. Mental note....never ever spring a surprise renewal of wedding vows on someone. Like that situation would ever present itself again, right? It was incredibly awkward, Paul didn't get the gesture, and later said he didn't think it was a good idea.

The reason I share this story is that I think I realised then that my marriage was hurting, that large romantic gestures shouldn't be necessary to keep things moving. Now, two years later my marriage is over.

You cannot go back from someone telling you they don't love you anymore, that they don't want to grow old with you...and that nothing you do can change that. You have to let them go. If they are so unhappy then there is no point holding on to save your broken heart. You have to realise the fairytale is over, even though you would have tried to save it over and over again because you made solemn vows and promised to do so....and, let's face it...you still love him.

A month ago I couldn't talk about this, hence the reason for my bloggy break. Some would think it's not appropriate to air this in public but I felt like writing what was in my heart today, especially on this anniversary of such a moving and beautiful wedding. A day that will always hold a special place in my heart regardless of who was there.

Pete and Krish, I know you will have an eternity of anniversaries and I so look forward to sharing them with you. Don't be sad for me, I deserve to be with someone that will love me for a lifetime, no matter what...just like you.

Thanks for helping me let go...love you both so much!!

One Little Word 2014 - Mindfulness

Image Source

Last month I began an accidentally inspiring journey. It all started when I read a post on Maxabella Loves about choosing a word for 2014. The concept was new to me but I could see its potential and straight away I knew the word I would choose, because I had written about it's influence on me last year (What is Mindfulness). Yes, this is my word for 2014, and some of you will have already read my post about why I chose it (Why Mindfulness?) Basically, I need to slow down, stop racing ahead and embrace the present moment.

The above image depicts exactly how I see Mindfulness and the role it will play in my life this year.

I find in life that one path generally leads to another one, and by chance, I heard someone mention Ali Edward's One Little Word program. I found her site Ali Edwards and registered straight away - a mere $31 for twelve months of prompts and support. I did not know what to expect from this program but I am discovering just how powerful one little word can be in the context of your life. This program also offers me the accountability I was seeking in order to make this concept work for me.

"In 2006 I began a tradition of choosing one word for myself each January – a word that I can focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life. My words have included play, peace, vitality, nurture, story, light, up and open. These words have each become a part of my life in one way or another. They’ve been imbedded into who I am, and into who I’m becoming. They’ve been what I’ve needed (and didn’t know I needed). They’ve helped me to breathe deeper, to see clearer, and to grow." Ali Edwards 

It all started with planning somewhere special to record my 2014 One Little Word journey. I chose the We R Memory Keepers album suggested by Ali. It is a quality faux leather album with stitched edging and will last many, many years. Ali also suggests having your word with you personally, like on a necklace or bracelet. I bought a mug with a picture of a lotus flower and my word printed on it, to have my coffee in at work

I had some scrapbooking supplies that I bought over the years but have never used...it was always something I planned to do eventually - like so many other things.

On the first day of the month Ali provides you with printable pages for your album pockets and the prompts for completion of the material. This page includes a definition and symbol for my word, plus a photograph that epitomises a time in my life when I was mindful and thrived in the present moment.

Without giving the exact details away, you are encouraged to search for quotes and examine why you chose your word and to define your successes and fears.

Each month you summarise what happened the month before in relation to your life and your word.

And you record what your intentions are for the year. I chose some physical, emotional, financial and relationship intentions for 2014. These intentions have been translated into action items, which include things that make me happy such as pursuing my cheesemaking, taking on some volunteer work, spending quality time with my boys, utilising my old fish farm for my simple living goals, raising chickens etc. My actions also include goals to pay off my credit card, attain my goal weight and to drink more water. All of these actions are mindful....to me, and for me, to embrace and appreciate my moments in time.

So, if you feel like you want to try something different and experiment with an interesting concept that thousands of people around the world are embracing, I am sure it's not too late. There is a large Facebook Group of supportive and fascinating people from all works of life that you can share your journey with...and you get to play with glue and coloured paper - bonus! :)

Funny how some things find you for a reason. Are you doing or embracing something that found you this year? Have you ever done One Little Word (OLW)?

I can see I will have many leatherbound albums for my grandkids to flick through.

Five Kilos of Fun

As part of my Curves membership I am weighed and measured every month to keep me on track. Well, being the rebel I am, I managed to evade the girls last month...but not the case today.

I felt so naughty and guilty because every measurement was higher than last time (well the bust being an extra 5cm was the only welcome one) and poor Nicky did not know what to say. I could tell she wanted to chastise me but instead we set some goals and talked about my self indulgent holiday. We decided it's just a glitch in an otherwise successful fitness campaign...a five kilo one!

In October I was so proud of the fact that I had lost 8 kilos and I felt amazing! I could squeeze my abs and had no front tummy bulge. The girls were so proud of me and used me to promote the gym on occasion.

Gosh, I even strutted my stuff in front of everyone at the fashion parade for the Girls Night In...groan.

So my five kilo weight gain is embarrassing and I wanted to hide from the girls who had supported me when I lost it. My body fat has increased by 4% since November...a big jump. Five kilos may not seem like a huge weight gain to some, but I am a small build... and at my age I know just how hard it was to get rid of. Yet I let myself get in this situation again.

What is it with self sabotage? Everyone does it, we can turn a blind eye and ignore the issue if we want to...well my eyes are wide open again now. Christmas and the cruise are my excuses but now I need to look at where I went wrong...and fix it. The best way to do it is to go right back to the beginning and do what I first did to lose weight. Logical hey?

So, I am back to tracking my meals using the Curves Complete Program. I have made tonight's dinner already so I can eat when I get home from the gym...the time when I am starving!

The meals are healthy and filling. Last night was a chicken enchilada with homemade salsa and yoghurt (no sour cream anymore), and a salad. Yummo.

I am back to wearing my pedometer. I recorded 8000 steps yesterday so that it is a good start. As long as I do a decent walk at lunch time I should get to 10000 most days.

And I am back at the gym four nights a week. Mon to Thursday after work, no excuses. I still get home by 6.30 in time to prepare dinner.

So, there it is, not only have I planned the route I am going to take, I have made myself accountable by publishing it here and sharing it with you.

Wish me luck! Am I the only one pushing towards an extra dress size after Christmas?

Motivation vs Procrastination

Welcome to... Writing on Wednesdays. Sounds weird reading that aloud, a little like a cheesy radio announcer introducing the next talkback segment.

Over the past few weeks I have written a few wellbeing posts on Balance, Mindfulness, and Personal Accountability. The discussions following the post on personal accountability basically came to the conclusion that willpower or motivation is essential if you want to talk yourself out of doing things that are detrimental. No amount of personal accountability alone will stop you being led astray by that naughty Sylvester sitting on your shoulder (if you have never watched the tweety bird cartoons then you will have absolutely no idea what I am talking about here.)

I have been meaning to get back to and expand upon this concept for a while because motivation is a fascinating thing. Some people have loads of it, and others struggle to find it buried beneath the excuses. Me, well I just seem to give the impression that I am motivated all the time because of my positive attitude...and the huge rose-coloured glasses perched on my nose...most of the time, anyway.

I have a big confession to make though....I am the world's biggest procrastinator! Seriously I am. There are some things that I put off doing out of fear of getting too involved or obsessive...like, um, that novel for example. There are other things that I just don't want to do because they are yucky or boring, or I don't know how. It may take me longer to get around to those things like cleaning the bathroom or doing a written assignment, but I never, ever quit or give up or leave something unfinished that has to be completed. I guess I put pressure on myself to find the motivation to complete things, and the common sense to discard my crazy ideas that will just never work.

So, where and how do you find motivation? It's not something you pick up by chance on the side of the road. It's something that only you can find for yourself. No-one else can decide what motivates you and what doesn't. Your loved ones will know what most of those things are, but sometimes they will get it wrong. You know why? Because it changes from day to day and from task to task. What motivates you to go to work on pay day will obviously be completely different than the motivation to clean the toilet.

This year marks the longest time I have stayed motivated for many years. Looking after my health, setting personal goals, changing my way of life in living more simply, and I guess, actually thinking about what I am doing with my life every day, has kept me motivated. I can see results from the efforts I have put in, and for me this is the key. I can see a positive future if I keep on this procrastination-reducing path. I still leave the ugly tasks till last but it is my mission to tackle these head on eventually...more procrastination? Hey, I am a work in progress.

I read somewhere that motivation vs procrastination is like a double edged sword - waiting for motivation can lead to procrastination, and feeling unmotivated can cause you to struggle with procrastination. It's when procrastination leaves you feeling burdened or discouraged that you obviously need to take action. Very true. So, if you feel this way at times like I do, why not break the cycle and stop sitting around waiting for motivation to fall into your lap. Look for and identify the things that motivate you. For example the pleasure of a clean bathroom or a beautiful meal on the table. Being a mother can motivate you in so many ways, and even those who have been through stressful situations like bushfires, family deaths and floods can find that motivation...but only if they choose to (and ready to) look for it. I guess that's the point where willpower steps in.

I chose to find what motivates me and makes me happy, and am rewarded every day for that choice. If you are in a rut never give up. Squash that ratbag procrastination beneath your feet, shrug off that naughty little Sylvester on your shoulder, and move forward, one step at a time.

Are you feeling motivated now? I would love to hear how you maintain your motivation when times get tough.

Next week I will keep you updated on my progress with Nano Wrimo. Haven't yet decided what I am going to write about. Other people have plans drawn up and everything....think I will just wing it. Any suggestions for a novel greatly appreciated!

Focus on Financial Balance

Today's post is about me working towards achieving financial balance. You may remember that I identified it as an area of my life that requires more control (Balance) and there are many ways I could be doing better. When I started my health and fitness journey on New Years Day I never envisaged just how far it would take me. Being physically fit and giving up smoking led me to make changes to other areas of my life, which as we know, has snowballed....in a good way. 

With regards to my finances, I want to focus more closely on my personal spending. Every fortnight when I get paid I put money into a joint account to pay for bills and our mortgage. Any surplus becomes our savings. Earlier in the year I examined everything we pay and shopped around to get the best deals. These are some of the things I did:

1. Insurance - combined the policies for mine and my daughter's cars, saving $20/ month.

2. Home Loan - we looked at refinancing to a lower rate but when I rang our current bank they offered a reduction of .25% as we were looking around. Bank's don't want to lose your business. This really surprised me and I urge everyone to do the same. Talk to your current bank first as the cost of refinancing with exit and entry fees can sometimes outweigh the reduction in interest that another bank offers. This saved us $50/month.

3. Credit cards - As much as I try to pay my balance off every month, this year has been a difficult one and we do owe money on two cards. ANZ bank offered a credit card with 0% balance transfer for 9 months so I transferred my balance to them and am saving about $100/month interest for 9 months. The interest rate after that time is also 7% less than what I am paying now so if they are not completely paid off by then, I will still be saving. But, I will pay them off by then, right?

4. Electricity - We made the decision to install solar panels as we registered for the high feed tariff of 44c. Origin gave us another 8c on top of that making it 52c. As our electricity costs are regulated in QLD the retailers all have to charge the same tariff but their running costs vary. I joined The One Big Switch which 40,000 Queenslanders registered for, and as well as cheaper admin fees, they gave us another 2c feed in tariff. So we feed electricity into the grid at 54c and buy it back at around 27c. I finally got our first bill and we are $38 in credit. Although we are paying $300/month for two years for our panels, after that time we will have no energy bills. Yippee!! This will save us around $2000 per year.

5. Fuel - I can't control the fuel prices but I now fill up at Coles Express so that I can use my Fly Buys Card (this is fairly new too) and where I can get at least 4c off per litre using my Coles dockets. Coles are more expensive than Aldi so I don't shop there all the time but twice now I have collected enough Fly Buys points to get $20 off my spend there. So it works for me.

6. Phone and internet - Unfortunately the only service we can get here is Telstra who are the most expensive. I did manage to score NBN Satellite internet as our wireless service here is too slow. This gives us a slightly faster internet service with 30GB more usage per month, and saves $30 per month in fees. Well worth it! We are on the waiting list for ADSL but that could take years now the Government has changed here.

So, I have examined all of my major expenses this year and reduced as many of them as I can. Now let's start on my personal finances. Every fortnight I have a budget as follows:

Groceries  $400

Fuel        $  80

Savings    $100

Me          $  80

Total       $660

The only factor I cannot change with this budget is the fuel. It costs at least $80 every fortnight to get to work and back because I live out of town. I do restrict my driving on weekends however and try to avoid going to town. For example, I do my groceries on a Friday night after work to avoid going into town on Saturday.

The $100 savings I automatically transfer to another account when I get paid, and I then take the rest of the money out in cash. I keep the grocery, fuel, and my money in separate compartments of my wallet. Generally the $40 a week I have left for myself gets spent at the pharmacy or if the boys need money for school. I take my lunches to work every day and drink water from the bottled supply at work.

So, the only area left that I can save on is my groceries. I have already made steps towards this by making my own cleaning products and buying a water filter so we don't have to buy bottled water.

However, my grocery bill is still around $200/week. That's $10,400/year! Where does the money go? I decided to analyse my dockets more closely and see exactly where my money is going, in order to try and work out where I can make some savings. It was a fiddly process crossing items off the docket as I entered them into the calculator. This is the result for my grocery spend on Friday last week.

Non Food = $12.46

Re-usable bags = $8.94

Meat = $54.69 (nine meals,bulk buy)

Fruit & Veg = $31.10

Dairy = $20.03

Ingredients/Staples = $35.58

Ice Cream = $6.18

Freezer = $8.78

Wraps/Bread = $8.66

Drinks = $14.44

Lunchboxes = $17.95

Biscuits/Snacks = $6.71

Nuts = $6.98

Total $232.50

I did replenish my supply of re-usable shopping bags which is a one-off expense, but the rest of the results when I categorised them were surprising to me. My biggest expense besides meat is my fruit and vegetables. I did not realise I was spending this much. I do tend to overstock and last week before the shop I made a huge dahl (lentil and vegetable curry) in the crock pot to use up the leftover vegetables. Some of this I froze and the rest I have used for lunches. I won't be growing enough vegies to totally wipe out his expense so I think a weekly trip to the markets may reduce this expense...and better planning as to how much I actually need to buy.

The other areas I will target are the soft drinks ($7 of the drink spend) and lunchbox snacks for the boys. I will try switching over to cordial which is cheaper (there will be protests) and making some of their lunchbox food from scratch. I have the luxury of time this week to experiment, and at the end of the day, this switch will be healthier for them.

Anyway, I have now set a goal to reduce my weekly grocery bill to $150 instead of $200. This will save around $2600/year which is easily a nice family holiday or Christmas presents paid for. Even if I can only reduce it to $175/week then I will still save $1300/year.

I can almost see the pina colada with the colourful umbrella sticking out of a wedge of pineapple, and the blue ocean in the background as I lounge on the deck of the cruise ship....what great motivation to do my shopping more wisely and think about what I am buying. To make things more accountable I will track my spending on my blog each week and keep you updated with how I am progressing. It will force me to keep dockets and control my purse strings by being accountable to you.

How do you budget for your groceries? Do you overspend? 

Is $150/week for a family of five achievable or am I dreaming?

Personal Accountability

Anyone who knows me well says that I think way too much...and they would be correct. Sometimes I can't turn my brain off and one thought leads to the next and the next. This is where my thought process led me last night....

The word that has been playing around in my mind this week is accountability. I don't necessarily mean in a financial or organisational sense such as a company being accountable or answerable to its shareholders. What I have been thinking about is being accountable as an individual with the various aspects of your life that you are balancing. Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions or, in other words, to account for them.

With some areas of our lives we are accountable to someone, just as companies are to their shareholders. We are expected to perform in certain ways just as we expect doctors or teachers to do. For example, we are accountable to our husbands to be a loving wife, to our employers to do our job well, to our children to be a good role model and responsible parent. If our actions contradict what is expected of us then our husbands, employers and kids will hold us accountable and expect us to explain or justify our actions.

So, what got me thinking is, what about those areas of our lives where we don't have to be accountable to others? What if we don't have husbands, children and employers to be accountable to? In these instances I can only surmise that we are only accountable to ourselves, or to our conscience or beliefs perhaps. We only have ourselves to answer to if we err in judgement or give up on a goal.  This is dangerous ground for me because I have found that I am persuasive and can talk myself out of being accountable.  I don't need to go to the gym after work, I've lost weight this week, I need a night off... or... I really need that chocolate bar right now, its been a stressy day. I am the boss of me so I can break the rules when I want to, and accept my rather weak justifications.

It therefore takes strength and sometimes willpower to be accountable to oneself. Sometimes I feel like Sylvester from the Tweety Bird cartoons with that little pain in the butt conscience angel talking him out of or into things. So, with all this deep thinking about being accountable today, I realised that I have already taken some measures to take the accountability away from just me.

For example, I have joined a gym with a program where I get weighed every week and measured every month. My mind then sees that I am accountable to my trainers Nikki and Kerrie, as well as myself. I want to do well and I hate going backwards. I want them to be proud of me (as I am of myself)  for getting fit and losing the weight. There is my accountability. Works for me.

Being a writer is a big goal of mine and starting this blog is making my writing accountable. Instead of thinking yeah okay I will watch television instead of doing that article or writing that chapter, I now have a regular pattern of writing. It has become less sporadic and more disciplined, I am more productive and savouring every minute of it. My writing will improve every day and I will reach my goals. Works for me.

So, now I just have to extend that personal accountability theory to those other areas of my life that are unbalanced. The main area that needs work is my personal finances.

 I work, I spend, I buy. Yes, I do have a budget, but there is still that voice that tells me I need to buy something or I can make it up next week. I have met a pretty amazing lady Stacey from the UK who knows exactly how much she is spending and saving every single day...and she documents it on her blog Mortgage Free Journey. It has inspired me to take a closer look at my personal spending (what I have left after paying my bills) and make it work towards my goals of a holiday and reducing my credit card debt. I have already started by growing my vegies and making my own cleaning products, but the rest needs a closer inspection and I will be doing that in further blogs.

So, there you have my theory of personal accountability. I have since Googled it and others define it simply as responsibility. That's where I am heading...towards responsibility and taking control of those neglected areas of my life. I imagine the little Sylvester or mini-me will still sit on my shoulder and try and talk me into things....sometimes he/she will win because no-one is perfect. We do the best we can. But with my goals in sight, only I can formulate and put into action the plan to get there...and the best thing is...I am working on it.

Do you have a plan? What do you think about personal accountability?